Ephesians 6:1-3 (KJV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
Most Christians have read these verses. Many have them memorized. Because of Christian influence over the centuries, society at large is even familiar with them. Very few however, understand what it means to honor another person. Sure, followers of Christ mostly understand that God deserves to be honored. We know from the Bible that our LORD and His Word are to be treated reverently and with respect. Humorously to culture, some of us old people still use antiquated words and phrases like “circumspectly,” “propriety” and “fear and trembling” when we consider the greatness of our God!
However, for some reason, the idea of honoring another person inflames our cultural sensibilities. The thought of lowering ourselves, showing deference, and dare I say “submitting ourselves” to others, particularly those in authority (another word we don’t like) over us, annoys to no end.
It just so happens that honor is a godly thing, and having biblical honor as a part of one’s character is crucial to the proper functioning of the major jurisdictions (or realms of authority) created by God: home, church, and state.
Sadly, the lack of honorable behavior is on full display in the homes, streets, and churches of America as we speak, resulting in the profane vitriol and pervasive violence we see and read about day after day.
The Text above was written by the Apostle Paul. His Epistle to the Ephesians is one of the most beautiful and theologically complete letters written. The first three chapters are mostly indicatives. Paul made sure the Ephesian church understood their relationship to Christ: who He is, what He did, and what His work meant for them, particularly as it relates to the magnificent grace they received.
The last three chapters are almost all imperatives: practical commands and instructions for the Christian home and church, based firmly but lovingly on the Gospel. In this context, we find these beautiful instructions concerning honor at home. Beginning in chapter 4, Paul issues much needed directives concerning how the church might be more unified in Christ, how to fight against sin and be holy, what being filled with the Spirit looks like in practice, and how families should conduct themselves. After carefully teaching about marriage in chapter five, Paul also reminds the church that God’s Commandment for children to honor parents is still in effect.
The word “obey” in Ephesians 6:1 means to heed or conform to a command or authority. (Strong’s) The word “right” can also translated “righteous or just.” In other words, the obedience called for is not just culturally “right” or “conveniently” right but is also “creationally" right and points to God’s beautiful design! This sort of obedience and honor promotes blessing! Why?
Because our parents typically know more than we do and their wisdom would help us.
Because such honor would lessen transgression, and consequently, the debilitating affects of sin in our lives, which would increase live and prosperity.
Because to honor parents is to honor the God who gave the command!
Honoring parents being “the first commandment with a promise” suggests how important this command is to home, church, and even society at large. Since honor greatly clashes with our sin nature, it must be taught and cultivated at a young age. Honor begins at home!
The Principle of Honor
In Ephesians 6:2, the word for honor in Greek is timaō. It means to prize, that is, fix a valuation upon; by implication to revere. (Strong’s) Another definition is “to revere; to respect; to treat with deference and submission, and perform relative duties to.” (Webster 1828 Dictionary) Our LORD commands children to highly regard their parents and to lovingly yield to their authority. Again the promises of honor are prolonged days and a more blessed life! God values and blesses our desire to esteem our parents!
Consider the wide-ranging implications of a lack of honor:
Disrespected husbands and fathers
Unloved wives and mothers
Unkind and profane words
Dishonesty and loss of trust
Immodesty and a lack of propriety
Loss of shamefacedness
Lack of swift repentance and forgiveness
Generational discord
Sibling rivalry
Unrest and violence
Loss of unity and joy!
In a recent sermon series on the Biblically-Healthy Household, I told our church:
So then a biblically-healthy family is lovingly-ordered. God Himself is a God of order (1 Cor 14:33, 40). Therefore, this household strives to be governed according to God’s design. Here is another way to say this: I submit the chief trait present in biblically-healthy families is honor.”
Honor is the glue that holds everything together; it is the grease that causes things to run smoothly and the guardrails for when things get testy. With it, the household is a WONDERFUL place to be. WITHOUT it, there is disrespect, distrust, and disorder. Chaos! May we remember that biblical honor is not based on performance; biblical honor is based in intrinsic value…in the office one holds and the God who ordained such.
May your household be characterized by the love of God in Christ and careful, passionate, and sweet honor towards God, parents, and one another!
Solus Christus!